Life 

I Was Bullied Because …

So many content warnings: violence, domestic violence, bullying, verbal abuse, suicide, self-harm, periods, body image, disordered eating, depression

I came across something on Twitter, started tapping out a note so I could tweet about it later, and then couldn’t stop tapping … so I did the sensible thing and turned it into a blog post! 

Source: this tweet from @aquabeings

I was bullied because …

▪️ I got an A in my exam.

▪️ I got a C in my exam.

▪️ I didn’t have a Morgan De Toi schoolbag.

▪️ I did have a “lame” Walkers Ready Salted rucksack that my mum and dad got free with a 32-box.

▪️ I didn’t have a Walkers crisps pencil case.

▪️ I sat in front of him in French class and he didn’t want me to.

▪️ I walked through the doorway at the same time as he did.

*This chap held my arm in place as he slammed a swing door on it and almost broke it.

▪️ She didn’t like the way my jam sandwiches looked.

▪️ My Dad refused to give me the £1 I needed to donate to wear my own clothes to school for the day.

*Admittedly, I was the only kid in the entire school wearing school uniform that day.

▪️ I had my white socks pulled up to my knees.

▪️ I bought the last Yorkie in the vending machine and he was mad about it. 

▪️ A tampon fell out of my bag.

*Someone rummaged through my bag at lunchtime and stole all of my tampons as a result of this, and I had to scrunch up toilet paper in my underwear as I was too embarrassed to ask any of the teachers for help, and then I leaked through my clothes on the walk home because whoever rummaged in my bag also took my bus money.

▪️ He saw that I was wearing a bra under my white school shirt.

*He then went on to tell everyone that I stuffed my bra full of tissue paper and everyone kept shoving toilet paper in my school bag for weeks, sometimes dirty.

▪️ I was sat on the table he wanted to sit on at school.

*I was hospitalised for this one, off school for 4 weeks, on crutches for 8 weeks.

▪️I was leaning against the wall at school “funny”.

*I was hospitalised for this one, too.

▪️ I got the answer right in class.

▪️ I got the answer wrong in class.

▪️ I wouldn’t let him have my Blue Riband.

▪️ We were dating and he had to pretend that we weren’t.

▪️ I wouldn’t give him my bus money so he could buy cigarettes.

▪️ I hadn’t kissed a boy.

▪️ I did kiss a boy.

▪️ I wouldn’t let him finger me.

▪️ I did let him finger me.

▪️ I “lied” about letting him finger me.

*I didn’t lie.

▪️ I was stupid enough to let him spike my drink and dump me on my front doorstep at the end of the night before he then ran away from my mother.

▪️ He was jealous that I was dating his friend.

▪️ I wouldn’t shoplift beauty items for the popular girls.

▪️ I got arrested because I shoplifted beauty items for the popular girls.

*I wasn’t clever enough to shoplift without getting caught, apparently.

▪️ My hair was too nice. It must be a wig.

*This was accompanied by a small handful of my hair being yanked out. 

▪️ I wasn’t fashionable enough.

▪️ My parents were poor.

▪️ My mum was shagging my mate.

*Untrue.

▪️ I was a virgin.

▪️ I lost my virginity. 

▪️ I was stupid to trust my friend when I told her about losing my virginity.

▪️ I ate too much.

▪️ I didn’t eat enough.

▪️ Someone found my mouldy sandwiches in the bottom of my bag that I kept forgetting to throw away when I stopped eating.

*A rumour went around the school that I had an eating disorder and people made gagging noises at me when I walked past for a good couple of weeks. 

▪️ My clothes were too baggy.

▪️ My tights kept falling down.

▪️ I didn’t have the Kickers shoes that all the other girls had.

▪️ My fringe wasn’t straight.

▪️ I wore Criminal Damage baggies.

▪️ My mum cut my hair.

▪️ I dated a grunge boy with long, greasy hair and a Slipknot hoodie.

▪️ My skirt was too long.

▪️ My skirt looked stupid because I’d rolled it up at the waist.

▪️ I listened to Marilyn Manson.

▪️ I listened to the Prodigy.

▪️ My mum wouldn’t let me go to an 18+ club when I was only 15.

▪️ I didn’t wear makeup and should’ve, because I was ugly.

▪️ I wore the wrong colour makeup.

▪️ I wore too much glitter.

▪️ I wore too much black eyeliner.

▪️I didn’t have the Bourjois Coup de Theatre mascara that all of the popular girls did.

▪️ My dad wouldn’t let me go and see Titanic with my friends at the cinema because I was 11 & 3/4 years old and the movie was rated 12.

▪️ I went on the pill and someone saw it when they emptied my bag out onto the floor.

▪️ I was obviously a massive slut because I went on the pill.

*My mum put me on the pill to try and reduce my hardcore PMS symptoms.

▪️ I had a pregnancy scare.

▪️ I wasn’t into drinking.

▪️ I got drunk on White Lightning on the school field.

▪️ I wouldn’t eat a crane fly.

▪️ I wouldn’t run head-first into a brick wall.

▪️ I wouldn’t punch that other girl in the face.

▪️ My front tooth wasn’t straight.

▪️ I hadn’t been to Spain.

▪️ My parents couldn’t afford to send me on the school skiing trip to some fancy place in France.

▪️ I was depressed.

▪️ I failed to kill myself.

*My head of year held an assembly and told everyone what I’d done, and then asked all the kids to “be nicer” to me.

▪️ I was a self-harmer and someone saw my scars.

*I wasn’t allowed to dress in a separate place to the other girls no matter how much I begged the PE teacher.

▪️ I had to see a therapist.

*He was the dad of one of the kids who bullied me at school.

▪️ I developed boobs seemingly overnight.

▪️ I wore “boy jeans” from Blue Inc. as they fitted my little waist-big hips frame better, which meant I was obviously “a boy”. 

▪️ She said that I slut-shamed other women.

▪️ I wouldn’t have sex with him.

*One of a few stalkers who made my life miserable for not wanting to have sex with them.

▪️ I wouldn’t have sex with her and her husband.

*She turned a whole gaggle of wives against me. It was like Mean Girls for your 20’s. 

▪️ I wouldn’t take the blame for her shop till being £20 down.

▪️ Her ex-boyfriend started dating me.

*God, I hated this bitch. I worked with her for almost a year and she made my life a MISERY whenever we were on shift together.

I got bullied a lot when I was a school, and I think I’ve been bullied quite a bit throughout my late teens, twenties, and thirties too — by people I do know, people I don’t know, lovers, friends, even relatives. Things that are said, stick … and they hurt, physical bullying aside. Just remembering some of those situations makes me well up with tears, and I’ve got more than a few scars to show for it all.

But I’m a grownup now, so I know that a lot of the stuff I was bullied for can’t possibly have been *MY* fault — and probably isn’t now/won’t be in the future.

I mean, I was apparently in the wrong for both being a virgin and losing my virginity, so I literally couldn’t have done right for doing wrong. 

To the bullies: be kinder. (And fuck you.)

To the victims: it’s not you. I promise you, it’s not you.

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2 Thoughts to “I Was Bullied Because …”

  1. I could have a list that long too. I saw it going round twitter, and did comment on it. I think we like to think as a child that when we grow up we will not be bullied again, but there will always be those who take pleasure in hurting others, and as you point out, most of the time it is a no win situation.

    Take care of yourself and stay safe.

  2. So much this, painful so in fact but seeing it written down like this made me realise you are right, it’s not me

    Molly

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